Reflection

I’ve traveled the world for six and a half months now. Tonight, I feel tired.

A few of my teeth have been aching all day and I didn’t notice the low grade fever I had until the wave of relief from an Advil happened.

Because I’m constantly surrounded by novelty, I feel easily distracted. I can dismiss negativity by quickly appreciating the life I live which is blessed. I mean, I’m in Kyoto, Japan and the cherry blossoms are everywhere!

What dismissing does though, is discount the part of me that maybe does feel sucky. Sometimes things are sucky. That’s life.

And that’s okay. “Let it happen, let it be.” I picked that up from the monk who led the one day meditation retreat I attended in Chiang Mai, Thailand.

But then what? Because the posture I choose to take next counts toward who I am presently and beyond.

I’ve had many moments of feeling sucky while traveling, fully aware this is what I’ve signed up for because I came on this to grow and challenge myself.

I’ve spent nights in crying and feeling pain I thought I had already addressed before. Often, I don’t share because the pain feels private to my experience.

I also don’t want to put it on anyone’s radar because I consider how others have all of whatever they are dealing with in their own lives already.

Although, I forget pain is universal. Everyone empathizes because pain has been experienced by us all.

My then what is about feeling for the moment, giving the suck it’s due time. Then pivoting to the more specific value I’ve uncovered from feeling the suck.

Tonight sucks because I’ve worn myself out with events and experiences and always being on the go for the last week and a half. I only want to rest, read a book, enjoy down time.

It’s fine to let that happen and let it be. Because once I get those quiet activities in, then I can balance again.

Balance. The highs need lows. The activity needs rest. How fitting that balance comes into focus in a country where harmony is highly valued.